Monday, October 16, 2023

The Boss Rabbit

 Today, October 16th, is National Boss's Day. 

At my house, my Momanager is the Boss, mostly cuz she dishes out the noms and tells Dadders what he's doing wrong because he doesn't do it her way. 

My Dadders had a staff to Boss before he moved to FloryDa to play hit balls with sticks and fix stuff around the house. 

But I'm the Real Boss around here (ask anybuddy), so here are some tips if you aspire to be the Boss of your world.

Thursday, June 22, 2023

Guys Sticking Together

 Hey everybuddy. Rabbit here. Now I don’t mean to start anything, but after taking a deep dive into my social media stats, I got some news that just might change the type of content I post.


Up to now I’ve had women in their 40s and 50s following me, so I restrained my antics because you know how women get all fusty over guys doing stuff like acting out, laffing at guy humor, biting their sisters’ necks and looking for trouble. However, as of this past month, men ranging in ages from 13 to 44 dominate my followers at – drumroll please – 76.3%.

I was just reading a report in the NY Post that claims people start losing their sense of humor at age 23, mostly because they’re supposed to be all serious at work.

The report said the average 4-year-old laughs as many as 300 times a day, whereas the average 40-year-old will take two and a half months to log that many chuckles.

I’m thinking most of those 40 year olds are women, chastising their husbands and teenage sons for enjoying inappropriate humor… kinda like I hear my mom doing to my dad when he’s quoting Peter Griffin and Quagmire from Family Guy.

So anyway… Guys… I want to officially welcome you to Team AssRabbit, where its all fun and games, even if you get sent to your room for biting your sister’s neck.

Wednesday, June 21, 2023

Backyard Morning Rush Hour

Dear Diary...

Today is the First Day of Summer! We are getting hit by huge storms. Last night our two huge water bowls got flooded. Dadders emptied 30 buckets so today’s storms don’t flood our Catio.

As I watched morning rush hour pass by, Cornelius Crowbird stopped to catch me up on neighborhood gossip. He saw the big white poodle, Flagler, out for a stroll with his daddy, and the Woodstocks at the end of the block got a notice from the HOA to remove that giant peace sign off their front lawn as it offends one of the neighbors. Cornelius didn't say which neighbor, for fear of retaliation. I will pass along updates if there are any.

I also got a little wurk out in atop my ball spinner thingy. I've watched Candy and Frank gently paw the ball, but... Pffft! So lame when you can sit on it and spin that sukka like I do. So much more action!

And then Barbie deer stopped by to tell me she and her sisters were moving to higher ground because the severe storms have flooded the area where they usually sleep. This is Florida and higher ground - especially a mile from the ocean where we are - is probably a slight mound of grass-covered dirt. Still, she was pretty adamant about going, so I didn't bother to argue.

Are you getting storms at your house? Storms in Florida mean the start of hurricane season. I can’t wait! Last year Hurricane Ian stole our power for a couple of days and ripped a roof panel off our Catio. Immediately giant birds started circling overhead as though they were Forest Gump looking down at us cats like we were inside a box of chocolates. Dadders made a temporary cover for the missing screen that kept us safe until the repair dudes could fix it a month later.

Hurricane Nicole showed up on one of the final days of Hurricane season in November and devastated Daytona Beach down the road from us. People lost their homes from wind and flooding. It was very scary, but at my house we breezed through it without damage or losing power.

Here's hoping Hurricane Season 2023 is lame and a big o' failure.

And that's my report for today. Purrs, Rabbit

Tuesday, June 20, 2023

My Feelings About Cat Haters

Dear Diary,

My feeling is, there's no sense in pursuing a relationship with someone who hates cats... or any animal for that matter. Life is too short to go around without pet hair on your clothes. Amirite?

Today is stormy with wind and rain. A purrfect day to relax outside the Cat Apartment and wait for my chance to break in and see what the senior members of the Wonderpurr Gang are doing. 

Probably watching another exciting episode of CatTV on YouTube. My favorite is made by Red Squirrel Studios. You should check it out.

Monday, June 12, 2023

I Shudda Known Better... But I Do Love Catnip

Anybuddy else having a Regretful Monday? Thinking that homegrown catnip I got off of Misty at @Misty.s_World was a bit more potent than I'm used to. Probably her Appalachian Mountain air adds a THC-ish kick we don't get here in Florida.

All I'm saying is... I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done. Amirite?

PeeEss - bet you checked @ShiteyKitteh's IG didn't you?

Friday, March 17, 2023

Top 10 Irish Insults

Dear Diary, Today is St Patrick's Day. A day where people embrace being Irish even if they're 100% Polish like my Dadders. However, in his defense he was baptized on St Paddy's Day and his middle name is Patrick. On the other paw, Mom has Irish blood - and a temper mixed with Scottish and German, so watch out when she's on a rampage. Anyway! Today I'm Turkish-Irish and thought I'd embrace my inner AssRabbit by having fun with Irish Insults. Hope my readers enjoy... and if not... they can pick one below and take it purrsonally.

Monday, January 30, 2023

The Primal Habits of Humans

Dear Diary: 

You wouldn't think cats would be bothered by Mondays, but the truth is, we notice the primal habits of our hoomons change with the start of the week. Fur instance, Monday is trash day. The truck arrives at the Crack of Dawn, and unless Dadders rolls outta bed before that dawn cracks, we all get to enjoy our garbage for another three days. And let me reassure you, our household makes more garbage than ANY other house on our block.