Dear Monday: You are hereby given notice to leave the premises immediately and not return.
So far you are being blamed for Daddy stepping in a Gidget-gross hairball first step out of bed.
You are also to blame for crows tearing apart the trash bags on the curb shortly after my Dadders put them out.
You made Momma spill 95% of her breakfast shake, making a mess of epic proportions. Plus she had used the last of her strawberries and was devastated.
Also, the gooey drink dripped over the counter into the drawers, as well as soaked her shoes and shorts. Not a good look, I assure you.
You are responsible for Dadders leaving late to play hit ball with sticks game because you hid his phone.
You are also to blame for the inedible lumps in his Cream of Wheat.
Monday, you made Mom struggle to put Opie in a box for his blood work vet visit this morning, and made sure copious amounts of his baby-fine hair smeared her already disgusting shorts.
You also made her online bank ping her phone while waiting for Opie's test results. This totally freaked her out because she knew Dadders was not home using the online account. So she had to drive like a bat out of hell 20 minutes back home with Opie in the back of the van sliding back and forth in his carrier until she could get home to change the accounts passwords.
You then made the doorbell ring, freaking every last one of us fur kids out. The stranger at the door was a water irrigation inspector who wanted access to the garage to check the equipment. Except Chevy and Nik live in the garage. So Mom had to put them both in her office.
Not an easy task because Nik had to be dragged like an old snail out of his cat house shell, and then after Mom realized she doesn't know where the key is to the irrigation box and told the stranger to come back, she then had to drag Nik out from under her desk, risking blood poisoning should he bite her because he was extremely stressed.
And finally Monday... FINALLY... I hold you personally responsible for my momanager’s stress, which has resulted in her posting late on my social media accounts.
For that alone I will never forgive you.
You here hereby cancelled Monday. Do you understand? CANCELLED!
Sincerely, Hermès R. Koz aka Rabbit
Pee Ess: You will be hearing from PretzelKitteh, my littergator. If I were you, Monday, I'd be afraid. I'd be very afraid.