Saturday, November 5, 2022

Seek First to Understand

Dear Diary – While lounging in my momanager’s lap this weekend, I demanded she pay attention to me instead of the book she was reading. She told me, “After I finish this chapter about Seek First to Understand.”

“What’s that mean?”



“Essentially, it implies that you become more interested in understanding others, and less in having other people understand you. If you want fulfilling communication that benefits you and others, understanding others must come first.”

To which I replied…

“Pffft! I’m a cat. I’m all about me.”

“And that is why communication between us seems to be one constant battle. When you try to be understood before you understand, communication will break down, and may end up becoming a battle of two egos.”


“I don’t have an ego,” I told her with smug self-righteousness. “I’m an expensive purebred. I’ve got blue ribbon winners in my bloodline. I’m always right, and I don’t care what anyone thinks of me because I’m purrfect. What’s an ego?”



“You’re a living, breathing caricature of an ego, little buddy.”

“So proud.”

“The world right now is in turmoil. No one is trying to understand one another. People are lashing out in fear and frustration. Even if their own lives are not touched by tragedy, they are unconsciously reacting to what they see on the news by being short and angry with others, including strangers. It’s a scary time for all.”

“I got scared by the lawnmower this morning,” I told her, trying to relate to what she was saying. “So did Frank. He hissed at me, like I was responsible for the loud scary thingy zipping around our backyard.”

“And how did you react when Frank hissed?”

“Oh! I jumped on him and bit his neck. Could’ve pounded him good if KC hadn’t joined in, siding with Frank. I’m gonna try this communication-thing you’re talking about.”

“In what way?”

“Next time Frank or KC try to stop me from jumping on them and biting their necks, I’m gonna tell them what you said.”

“I can’t wait to hear what you heard I said.”

“I’m a living, breathing caricature of an ego. Hiss off!”

So proud.

Note from Momanager

Living with Rabbit has taught me I've acquired a vast supply of patience in my advanced years. His outrageous behavior no longer shocks me. I just roll with whatever mischief he's concocted.

The only time I get truly frustrated is when he deliberately antagonizes one of the other cats, primarily my seniors. They now live inside my bedroom until I've got Rabbit either locked up in his ZenDen, or out on the catio. Then they're free to roam the house.

Since being locked away from Rabbit, Dori is slowly gaining weight, and her back issues from being jumped on seem to be getting better.

I've been told (repeatedly) by breeders of Turkish Vans that Rabbit's behavior is normal, and actually he's very sweet.

I adore my breeder friends, and appreciate their advice. But when I think of them living in a home with more than one Turkish Van, I imagine them holding one Van by the tail to pretend him from going after his fur sib, and in the other hand they're holding a big bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.

Cuz that's how I end my days here at Casa Wonderpurr.

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